Thursday 28 October 2010
6:00:00 am
I tried to get some nap just now but to NO avail. I'm quite pissed. I'm fasting and I know I shouldn't be marah2 or whatever but gahh, I'm quite annoyed. I bought an original casing for my phone last night and I got it put on at Mobility shop at the Mall? And I didn't know that I had to pay $15 for it and it turns out that $15 mcm not worth it pasal the Indian worker just just...err what is the word, come onnn! He
hurt my phone. LOL. It cannot slide up adn down properly and I am definitely bringing it there later. With this definitely not giddy mood, I am glad to have someone to snap at I guess. Lol.
Okay, this is not good. I hate this aura or persona. I totally hate it. Okay, positive thoughts. umm, I had a good time with Syam, Nadzirah and Farah last night? We went to K box while waiting for my phone siap and instead of singing me and Syam kinda got a
bit high and we did a bit of Salsa thing? hehe. That was fun :) I miss Salsa a lot and yes I am seriously thinking to attend Salsa class tomorrow? Alright, if ada Auntie Dayang going to Salsa definitely! :D
Later I am thinking to watch movie with my siblings or maybe treat them dinner? Maybe watch The Rise of Mummy?
I can't really think straight at the moment and avoiding might be an ideal way not to make things any bad :) I wanna be stable :)
Okayyy, I am mumbling much. I better be off and start revising?
Good day people :)
Sunday 17 October 2010
3:32:00 pm
I wanted to blog using laptop tadi kalinya lagging berabis! Haha. Mental ku. Hehe. I gave up. Buang credit ku mereload balik2. Haha. Okay, I'm gigitan tapi kan ketawa. Lol. Yes. I am going crazy. Something is definitely wrong with my mind:p HEHE.
Aigo. I forgot. Salam and hello again people. Hee. It's almost 10 and I wanna talk before I'm going to bed. Alright, i know i started off pretty much grumpy this morning and now I am so not grumpy. Anddd the courtesy goes to my sister, Siti Yuhani. Seriously, it is just always good to get her snipping at me. She got mental with me easily. I had a good time laughing at her annoyance. Tehee. :p
Alright, just few few updates bout this week. I went out with Elza,Zar and Vivi last thursday. It had been quite a while that I haven't seen them. Hang out pun lamaaa. Except for Elza. I went to Fifah's house not long before. We watched Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak 2 anddddd it was disappointing. I prefer the first one a lot lot better. :/ elza treated us dinner at hotpoint that night. Tehee. Thanks Za and congrates again for the award:D I went home with Zar since we both now live in the same kampong. :p it was nice talking to her. I rarely see or spend time with her yet it is never awkward to see her. Haha. Apaan:p
The next day I woke up early with Ka Far. We were to attend Preconvention Symposium at MOF auditorium. I really think the symposium interesting and beneficial. Like the ad and disad of usage of amalgam? Biodentine? Truly beneficial. Hope they would organise it next year. And and we really think Miss Mabel cute and I really like Mr. Wilson. Too bad he is no longer one of those profs who'd be monitoring our progress. Pfft. Anyway, after the symposium me and farah decided to watch movie while waiting for he bf to send her uniform to her. And he unplannedly brought us to dinner with his cousin :) me and farah watched Child's eye btw. It was nice tho ending ny kambing. Typical ghost story ending. Heh.
What else what else? Ahh. There is something else. Huhu. See, today Dr Sam actually invited us to come at her sister's place for doa selamat function anddd majority of us couldn't make it. I'd love to but I had a class tadi. And I couldn't switch the time. Pfft. And and my friend ckp dr sam mcm hoping and expected most of us would have been there. It does not feel good to disappoint people that we like and get along well. I know how it feels...
Alright, I'm yawning already. Kind of. Lol. Think I'm off to bed now. Goodnight people. Hopefully next week be a good one for us.. :)
3:27:00 am
Hello,salam. I was awake hours ago. Quite early. And I did feel good remembering few things. That was a nice initial start. But now, the good sense is fading. Haaa. I wonder whether I indeed have some sort of personality disorders. Is there such thing as emotion disorder? Sigh. I love it when I feel happy and giddy like nobody's business. Lol. Who doesn't?
Okay, okay. Now i'm quite certain that I have emotion disorders. I am now smiling. Tehee. Scarry much. Hehe. A simple text just got me smiling just now. It is not special. Not from anyone special yet it makes me feel good out of sudden? :p see, it is not difficult to make me happy. Or to get me smiling. Not a hard job buddy. Lol. Easy to please. But then, it's easy for me to get upset. Well not all the times. It only gets worse when it comes to people whom I feel more deeply? This includes family,friends and..well him :)
If I am given the chance to turn back time would I take it? Well, I would have said yes,usually. I indeed wished a lot that I could go back and change few few things. But then to think about it now..there are nothing much I'd change. I've learnt not to live in the past and get move on with life. Again, to dwell into the past is completely useless. Pasts are memories. And perhaps lessons? Lol. I used to regret knowing some people and to make some decisions and now I see that those unfortunates are reminders and experiences? Alright I'm mumbling. :)
There are few things that bothering my mind actually but I just do not know how to put them in words and blurt it out here. I pretty want to say it now and i think its gonna be a way 'random'. First of all, I don't know for real but I just feel like I'm a...er bad person or selfish? I know I'm not the bestest person, daughter, sister or friend. But I care. Sigh. I've practiced this do-not-get-attached-easily quite well that I somehow feel like i accidentally practice it on my family? I am rarely at home and I do things on my own. I'm not saying I'm independant. No. I'm not. I still rely a lot on my mum. I'm saying this crap because..well, i feel quite bad and somehow sad that I feel a person points this out to me. I prefer it to be direct and not through sarcasm or comparison. Some sarcasm I don't really mind and would do my best to ignore them tho dey do feel ouch. But making me feel like a unreliable family member that is quite..suck..i'm not mad. No i'm not. It just got me thinking and it makes me feel suck..
Another thing I'd like to clarify is..before pointing our fingers on other misbehaviour,change or anything.. We should at least reflect ourselves first. If a person suddenly keeping a distance,for me, I would think that I might have done wrongly to him or her,might have said offensive things to them instead of jumping to conclusion that person doesn't want to be around with me anymore. :)
Alright. I think I talked a lot already. I better stop before I go on talking bout unappropriate things that might upset people. I wanna get up and watch tv or something. :)
Have a good day people.
Sunday 10 October 2010
12:31:00 pm
Hellooo, salam. HEHE. I feel kind of good and giddy. hehe. kind of. usu and kaka nurul dropped by this afternoon and we are going to have family dinner on next Friday. eh wait, i mean, next two weeks. on the 22nd that is. kaka nurul will treat us on that night. venue: wecan restaurant. i don't have problems with the food and i so suka the environment. so home-ish. lol ;)
Anyway, it's 10th October 2010 today. lots of people are talking about how special today is and blablabla. well, it is. it's once in 1000 years? i saw that on facebook. anyway, admittedly the date today sounds pretty much special and very fortunate to those who decided to get married today. lol. very lucky the babies that are born today. hehe. and honestly, though i don't have anything extravaganza today but still, i feel somehow good. there is no one particular or specific that i should be thanking to for this goodie feelings but yeah i feel kind of good. haha. lol. and yesterday i was thinking to commit suicide due to boredom:P ironic indeed.
I woke up around 8ish today and yeah i did feel slightly grumpy but then it didn't last long. i suddenly had that vision of myself going out and having a nice and pleasure breakfast somewhere. hehe. i had a little morning chat with my cousin and that too kind of made me feel like smiling. anyways, i initially just wanted to go and get my things in Tutong town but then i unplannedly went to Gadong to get something there. tehee. i know i did not have to get it today. i can get it like tomorrow? but then i just felt i needed to get it today. well, I
wanted to get it today itself. so yeah, i went to bandar on my own :) if i were not having any class tadi patang i might have as well stay longer.
Umm, what else? oh yeah, i need to prepare my teaching materials for tomorrow. somehow i feel like doing some reading on the hygienist book. yeay, productiveness :D
Alright people. few more hours before the weekend ends so yeah, appreciate it :) this day only comes once in thousand years. haha. lol. May next week be a better week :D ahh, one exciting thing? outing with the girls on coming thurs? teheeee.
take care, xoxo
Saturday 9 October 2010
11:59:00 am
I'm bored. I am bored. I am freaking bored. I am feeling gloomy and I am BORED. gahh. This boredom might as well kill me. I'm bored with my blogskin and I want to change it. And I don't know when I can do that. I want a new one. Something different. Something colourful. That might brighten my mood and somehow inspire me to blog and do it positively. All I do is whinning these days. I am getting bored of it. I'm getting bored with things. I want some change. Siggghhhh.
Life is not at stake anyway. Things are not so bad. My training course is okay. Started doing scaling on phantom head weeks ago. Things at home are pretty much normal. Yet i feel incomplete. I wanna do something interesting, fun and and i don't know. I really feel bored. Ever since this afternoon the word 'boredom' keeps on tuning in my head and it's driving me freaking insane. I know I sound dramatic but at this is very point I just do not freaking care.
I miss Salsa. I might as well get some work out moments with music later? But again to do it alone is just plain boring. Gahh. Alright, I need to do something later. Finish my assignments? But then aku malas. Dvd? Boringgggg. Series? Gossip girls annoying ah. LOL. whatever it is I'd do something later. Anything. And I'd cool down. I won't feel like committing suicide anymore later. LOL.
I sound very very much dramatic. Self centred? Selfish? I know I am only thinking bout how I'm feeling saja at the moment but then I think I at least do not ask anyone to sort me out. I at least do not give that burden to anyone. At least I just wanna be alone and I don't go around and bring people down with me. I do not blame or accuse others. So I think I at least deserve some right, though very little, to get excused to behave in this kind of manner.
Alright, i think i better stop before I start dwelling into the past. Past is past. And i couldn't bring any moments in the past back. I hope my next post would be brighter and more positive than this. I seriously hope so.
Have a good weekend people. T
