I just got home from Bukit Beruang. I haven't taken my shower,done prayers and the laundry. But still I want to blog first before this 'graceful' feelings wearing off. :P

We had a surprise 'gathering' at Usu's cribs. Usu turns into 46 today. Well, his actual birth date is on 29th. But then 29th only comes once in every 4 years. Anyway, we still had the celebration. Organisers, me and my cousin. And seriously we are last minute type organisers. Haha. We grow up with that habit. :p

Idk but I find it funny when we plan something like this and then we forget little lil things and make clumsy clumsy errors. For example, I was almost sampai tadi and only at that time it occured to me, 'wouldn't he be even suspicious to see us?' . Toink. Then while waiting for Ngangah he asked me why would I want to drive when we all can just use one car with my mom. I almost said 'pasal inda muat, hadiah and kek apa'. Luckily usu bini quickly said that I was eager to drive. Lol.

Anyway, all in all, it was quite a success. Haha. I mean minus some lousy and clumsy parts. What important was to get Usu to be happy on getting such surprises. It was truly nice to see him liking the things that we gave him. For food, we had a slight difficulty on that since Usu Laki has always been the one who cooks in most gathering. Hence we decided just to tapau chicken rice:P

I'm feeling quite blissful. I love having gathering with my family. Family as in, Usu, Ngangah and us. And I'm feeling quite sentimental too. Not in a sad or bad way. How do I say this? Okay, I love my cousin. :) We have some similar habits and I find it quite amusing. She knows me quite well and it makes me feel a bit bad when I could not guess what she's thinking. We always talk 'gaga' language when we want to talk bout secrets or sensitive issues. Mostly things that we do not want the elders to hear or know. :p

"kagak, agakugu pagatugut bagagigitagaugu magamaga pagasagal zugudigi kagah?"

haha. Its not a new lang. But still,they don't know what we are talking about:p

Then,what else? Ahh, went to John's openhouse yesterday. Was nice to see him. We'll go for bowling nanti2. I hope so:) Zaim n Sheikh came earlier,so me and Elza didn't meet them. ;) After that, Elza and me went to some places. I was looking for my literature books and I found none. :[

Then we went to Huaho Bunut. My head was kinda aching-due to lack of sleep I bet- and I felt tremendously better after he came to see me and sent me home instead. ;)

alright,enough talking. I'm off. :)

Last but not least, happy 46th birthday Usu Laki. We love you:)

Insomnia. That is what it feels like. Haha. Nauzubillah. I only slept for an hour plus x sja? Slept at 1 n got waken up at 2ish. And I just couldn't get back to sleep. Ishh, inda bagus eh ;)

But then I'm not so irritated at the moment. In fact I am happy and feeling quite 'graceful'. :p

umm, okay, suddenly I'm lost for words.

Alright, I'd just do this briefly.

I am officially his. I am definitely in love with a guy who has been affecting my sleeps, speeding up my heart beats and giving me the spinning-out emotions :D. With Twenties Girl book as a witness, I'm yours and you are mine :)

It is almost four udahhh. Gahh. Later I'm going to John's house with Elza. Erk. I need my beauty sleep. Haha.

Alright,I'm off. Will try to get as much as sleep I can. Ishh. Inda bagus eh.

p/s: i miss him. :)

Alright, I went through few 'waves of emotions' today. Since I don't know how or where should I start so I'm just gonna do it this way.

Interview:
My day pretty much began with apprehension and tiredness. I wasn't feeling well and didn't really think I had a sound sleep :) I wanted to stay in bed saja rasa nya BUT I had an interview to do. My first time interview at SPA. The post I applied for is Jurulatih Perawat Pergigian. There were two MOH officers and a guy taking notes down during the interview. It was okay. But then the man said that what I have in hands (as in my result) could take me further lagi. They said Dental Officer seems to be more suitable for me. They asked me whether I am married or not and later on asked me whether I am planning to start a family in 3 years time. I said 'no' and the man asked 'your fiancee? Boyfriend?'. I simply said, 'no fiancee,no boyfriend, no other commitment except for my family'. Lol. Anyway, all in all I don't know for sure dapat kah inda :)

AOB:
I'm going out again tomorrow with wani,her bf and their friends. Just convenient enough, I have no class tomorrow. We'll be watching movie. I'm not sure what movie though. Last time we watched Percy Jackson. It was nice. Simple storyline but truly not bad. And the guy is hot. Hotter than Zac Efron :p

AIL:
I know these few days I have been behaving way weird and 'crazy'. And I think the craziness will come to an end soon. Few things just got me thinking and make me determined to get my feet back on the ground. A girl I know got rejected by a guy she has only known not for too long. I know the guy too btw. They both got attracted with one another but the girl suddenly is taking things way too soon. And the guy changes his perspective on the whole thing. The girl ended up heart broken. That is the scenario basically. Why does this thing get me thinking? Well, I don't want to end up that way. I think I'm getting back my sensible sense. I want to stop feeling foolish. :)

AOB 2:
I cut my front hair btw. Yesterday. Well, I don't think it looks good. Eham said why do I want to cut my hair and be a clown? Ha-ha. Fun-ny. He didn't even see it.

Next, umm, I heard a different version of one's story. And idk. I don't want to judge and to sit on the fence is the only wise feedback I can truly give :)

Alright, I'm sleepy. Goodnight :)

I'm feeling better. Or I thought I am. Lol. Went beaching with beloved friends yesterday. A last minute one. Hehe. And it was fun and a good distraction. Just the type of remedy I needed for my out of blue crazziness. There were me,Elza,Qens, Advv,Sheikh,Amir, Eham and his gang-inda tinggal ne adik adik nya ahh. Heh.

Qen and me had sand fight yesterday. It was fun and something that we do not usually do. And it felt goodddd. So darn good. And satisfying. It is just good to do something crazy when you're feeling crazy. Haha. Apa kan? What am I saying? Lol.

Okay,the truth is, I am not over the guy yet. My heart is still racing and I desperately want my heart to beat normally. Really. Lol. And I am so not looking forward to the date with M. I know serves me right for saying Yes. Gahh. Dude,it is not you who I want to have a date with. *sigh. Anyway, promise is promise. I should keep it. At least I have reminded him that it would be a day date only.

Alright, I want distract myself and get sensible. By today, this emotions-keep-on-spinning-out things must come to end. I hope. O.o

I just woke up and I DID NOT have a sound sleep after all. And it irritates me like hell. Guess I'd take shower soon after this.

Okay what with this silly dup dap heart? Pounding heart? It was exciting at first but now I find it annoying. Kan menangis pun ada ku. I am definitely being silly here and I do not know why am I specifically feeling this way. I could not truly recall when was the last time I felt this way. Who was the last person who made me feel this way. Whenever it was,whoever it was,this feeling isn't new. Isn't new but still doesn't make sense to me. It is way and way ridiculous. It is scary. Terrifying. Yet it won't go away. I could truly identify who was the last one to make me feel this nonsense because I don't know what this feeling is.

I need to think straight. Think straight. Be sensible. I am sure I can do it later. Be rational.

Damn it. I hate you. No no, I don't. You are not a bad person and you are truly innocent. I hate myself. Yeah. That might be right. I should've controlled my mind,my emotions and be more resistant.

I'm trapped.

Okay,enough exaggerating. Time to be rational and wise. Yes, this should be easy :)

crazziness.

I'm sleepy. I keep on yawning and I just could not get back to sleep. Lol. I can close my eyes but my mind is fully awake and alert. Blavida~ And plus Vivi is still sleeping. Hehe. It is usually her getting up early. Kengalihan x ya. ;)

Anyway, I just wanna blog bout few things :) First of all, I said yes to the very same guy I mentioned few weeks ago. Yeah. I'm having a date with him after all. I haven't set the date but it is definitely a yes. Just a casual date,shouldn't be any harm ;) I said yes to him pasal...well,there is this another guy, I never meet him, just chat with him, he asks me out too and he is seriously annoying. Damn irritating. I always ignore him and only be good to him after he complained that I rarely reply his text on msn. Then he started calling me 'baby, sweety'. Hoho. Weird. I am no one's BABY okayy, moron. Haha. Mental. But yeah, aku inda suka. :[ anyway, pasal ia I kept on telling myself that I'd rather go out with M than ia. At least I know him and he is not that annoying. Lol. And ngam tah jua M asked me again last night, so I said yes tah saja.

Next, okay I got 3 A levels currently. 14
points. Itb for sure dapat, I think. But UBD, no. And I'm taking exam lagi to get into UBD. English Literature and Maths. Well, my mind set.. I told myself I really HAVE to do well in this coming June so I can do english literature. I was determined. Really,no kidding. Andddd then now I'm kinda...err lost? No, not that lost. Just unsure. I got an interview next week for the dentistry assistant post. I don't know yet. I just...don't know what to think. Like... Okay,I'm not taking for granted that I'd get the post. No, I can't be sure bout it. But still... Okay, I just need to be sure then I'd think further okay? So now, I'd just get my butt back to Jane Eyre, Top Girls and etc etc. Okay, cool? Lol.

I'm hungry. Heh. Orite, I'm off. Vivi is up already x)

I resigned and get fired at the same time? Was that possible? Well, I just did. Unexpected.

See, I was planning to resign by the end of this month. I want to put more focus on something else. And I planned to give a week or two notice to quit. But since the manager, Madam Cynthia is going to be on leave for two weeks plus, I had to tell her earlier. Alright, cut out the small small details, she got angry. Like real mad.

'So when are you going to resign?'

'I was thinking to stay till the end of-'

'No, today will be your last day. (to betty) Terminate everything. She could not touch the system, EXCO report. I don't want to pay you and you don't have to pay me'

I was dumbstruck on getting such cold hearted treatment. I was almost in tears. Oh I did cry,only after going out of the office ;'(I felt like throwing something at her. She didn't even have a diplomacy while talking to me. So I didn't give her that. Why should I bother giving her a polite tone as a return? Old bat. Superior cow.

Oh yes, I'm mad. I mean I was mad. At the moment I'm not really mad. I don't care. I just miss..miss them. And weird enough, I kinda miss going to the office the moment I walked out of it. I felt sad. I miss doing EXCO, Fol and going to the strong room. I even miss going to the ladies room. Haha. Really, it was one of my escape resorts. Lol. It is really clean and has good smell. I miss Irene, Wani, Richard, Joan,Ricky and Cally. And I am glad that they purely feel that farewell is suck. Irene, she supports me. If not because of her especially, I might feel tremendously sucks.

Anyway, I did 'earn' some sarcasms and talks too. And thank God I can be ridiculously ignorant. Haha. Basar dah tu suara durang becakap pun aku inda dgr. Haha. Anyway, as Irene said why should I care? True. Just value those opinions who do u more good than bad.

Anyway, I thank Wani and the boyfriend for bringing me jalan2 without me asking for it. Really, they are just friendly. One thing saja, they both love to eat and they pajal me to makan byk2. Haha.

Later I'm going to the beach with Vivi and Elza jua kali. Hehe. I wanna take a day or two days off before getting started with my mission. Lol.

Honestly, this is just too sudden.

Alright,I'm done talking:)

I'm here again. I'm sleepy. Gahh. I'd be glad to take a nap but I could not, I think. I got class krg mlm. It's so last minute yo~ and I haven't done my revision on the documentations & securities stuffs. Pfff.

I'm sleepy and hungry. Lol. What else? Ahh, I wonder why I could not log in my fb a/c. Talol.

I think I'm taking a nap after all.

Done complaining. I'm off. :) *wave

Hey, salam peeps. It's 4th of Feb and I'm not going to work today. Yesterday jua. I'm given two days of mc. And yes I'm treasuring my days off very very much. Lol. Despite the fact being absence for two days means I'm wasting away $60 of salary. I just do not really care:)

I wanted to update my blog last Saturday or Sunday but due to something, I totally didn't have the mood to blog and etc etc. Huhu. I even had to make myself update my fb status. Lol. It's just the sort of feeling when you feel too 'lazy' to do and deal with things. You even could not find the right words to say and feel like quitting from everything. Lol. And you even think to deny yourself any joy. Lol. That was what I have been feeling for the last few days. Perhaps this fever has something with it too. I just don't feel like going out ever again. Now that is exaggerating but it's true. Lol.

Alright, next.. Umm, there is this guy who added me on fb. He's a carcatunist-did I spell it right? Lol. Anyway, he draws cartoon,obviously. And I looked through his blog and I indeed find his drawings aren't so bad. Perhaps someday I'd ask him to make a drawing for me. It won't be free anyway. I found out from his blog he charges his drawing like $10 cematu. :)

alright, I wanna get up and take my medicine to ease away this headaches n muscle-aches. Lol. Till next post then. :)

p/s: I'd expose this blog again soon, I guess.

Yuhana is the name. Yuh is what normally people call me. Moody, demanding, sensitive,selfish and unreasonable,those are my not so nice personality at particular times. Hyper, happy, laughters, peace, cheerful, secure, comfort,sincerity and loves are my favourite elements in life. I'm allergic to hypocrisy and I dislike it when I have to be hypocrite. I'm addicted to books, dvds and chocolates. I love purchasing things. Earning and owning money is one factor that puts me in a good mood.*I am not materialistic by the way. lol* I enjoy going out;watching movies and et cetera. :)

Ct Yuhana

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