Hi, i did not think I would post anything here but I feel...I had whined, complained, blurted out much on this blog and i would like say things here. at this moment.

i talked about him so much here and i'm not saying this because i have no one to turn to, but after all these months after the break up i bet people are quite tired if i carry on talking about him. recently, on friday, he surprisingly went to Nadzri's house, well with the so called nice F... i was thinking bout our times when i received the text and yeah somehow i felt weird.. i know i know, i am not over him, i am not over you... the least i can do now is to be okay and live my life. i'm trying not to think of you so much.. insya Allah with time...i can totaaly forget you.. i cannot cry the way i cried for you anymore. that is good... but somehow, not crying...it feels like the pain is stuck there somewhere..  i am doing better... i am... it is a good thing that i cry very little nowadays compared to those days when you made me upset... i should indeed be thankful that i ended it before we go even deeper.. before we go further... it's just... i can't help not to miss you sometimes... i can't help hoping things stay wonderful for both of us... i wish my mind has a delete button so i can erase the memories. those memories with you are what still holding me...

you taught me quite a good lesson... somehow...

somehow i just hope you do realize what have you thrown aside... i am not the greatest thing that could or have ever happened to you... and certainly i hope you won't think i am the worst thing that had ever occurred to you... but you just threw away one of the people who love you for who you are,who care for you, who gave you more than you give... the least i hope could happen so i'd be at ease is this...

Salam and a very good morning. First of all, salam Maulidur to all Muslims :) Just feel like updating my blog for a while. I mean, really updating and not just expressing my feelings. lol.

It's 15th of February, 13 more days before it ends and just a usual hope, I hope February this year will be a meaningful one for me. February is indeed one of my eventful months. And I want it to stay that way and never change the slightest bit. I want it to be more and more precious as years go by. :)

Back to updates, Nini was admitted to JPMC weeks ago and she has been discharged now. She's staying at Usu and my family goes back and forth to see her. Once she is tremendously better, she can come home with us again :) I pray to Allah may she always in good condition and live longer. Amiin :)

Work; we have started on adult restorative since last January and honestly speaking I detested the first lesson. we were asked to make molars and premolars teeth out of porcelain. and being bad at carving thingy I just simply hated it. Thanks to Nadzirah and Cat for helping me with it. I appreciate that very very much! :) I got sick the day I started craving and I blame the carving session for it. lols.

I want to put exciting things here but i can't really think of any and honestly, i want back the positive and hyper spirit  that i used to have and include in my posts once upon a time. lol. cause looking back at my recent posts I see me whining and pretending to be okay. I could recall the not so okay feeling during posting and typing those words. and i do not really like it.

What else...? Ahh, I am teaching again and already started my classes and for now I'd say I like my year 11 class more.

umm, what else? I don't know. think i'm done for now.

Good day people.

February, please, when you end, I'd think beautifully of you.

The truths are:

It's 2 am and i could not get back to sleep. I feel...umm very much awake and i kind of feel like talking :)

Err, i think my nokia earpiece isn't working properly now. I think pasal tertindih kali. Oh well, biar tia :)

Okay, i am sure there's something in my mind that i could not get back to sleep. And i know what is that 'something' but i don't think i should say it out. Lol. Apa kan?

Umm, anyway, earlier as in yesterday, we had our second clinical session and alhamdulillah it was a lot better than the previous one. I had another two new patients and both were very corperative and easy to work with. And for this week i had dr lizah and noryagandi as supervisors and i indeed like being under them =)

January is coming to an end, i mean in plus minus less than 20 days? And on my way home tadi i was thinking bout teaching. I kind of eager to receive any call from Ahbab. ;) i miss teaching =)

My laptop isn't with me yet. And i kind of have given up hoping to get it any sooner. The sooner i'd get might as well be within a month? Well, a month sounds endurable than 2 months.

I'm yawning. That is a good sign. I am going to try to sleep now with earpiece on. Music had always been my lullaby once upon a time? Heh. Lols.

"It only felt quite good because letting bygones by bygones is indeed a good thg" =)

last but not least, i love mahmud zuhdi :)

Randomness:

Happy new year.

Tomorrow i will be treating my first four patients and i'm nervous.

I haven't found any suitable or perhaps 'likeable' clinical shoes *sigh. I definitely need to find a pair later.

I miss my laptop. It has been a week plus. I am truly hoping to get it back somewhere next week before our first radiograph assesment the week after. O.o

I love the smell of my hair. If and if i'm not changing my mind, i may do digital perm for my hair in feb or march? ;)

I can wish but i have to know i don't necessarily get the things that i wish for. I wish certain thgs work the way i prefer but what power am i given to make such thgs possible? So yes, be realistic and care less. Care less, worry less, insya Allah that would cost me less trouble.

I think complicated and i make thgs complicated at times. And i apparently make some other people's lives difficult too. Hence i should, no, i am definitely learning to keep thgs more to myself. And show no signs how certain thgs affect me. I think so. I guess i need to learn bout the poker face thingy from Cat. Lol :)

If a person thought someone is standing on his way in doin something, i suppose that someone should stay aside?

Have a good day. :) or weekend..

Will be off for wed function and may be at usu's place for a while.

Action speaks louder than words.

You don't have to say it, it is just quite apparent which is which.

I'm not stopping anyone from doing anything. The least i can do is to know and remind myself as to where i actually stand. And to keep myself aside. It may not be too much, forgive me. But that is the least i can do.

Last but not least, i do not regret to have anything or anyone in my life.

Regret and defeat are two different thgs.

Salam and hello. I have been neglected this blog for a month plus. no updates or whatsoever. and it just feels this is err the right time to do last post for year 2010? heh. Lol. I am pretty sure I won't be updating my blog any later than this ;)

We celebrated my sister 19th birthday earlier at Usu's cribs. it was pretty much simple and not truly surprising. well, my sister is not as gullible as i am to be tricked into surprises thingy ;p i bought cupcakes and flat shoes for her. we prepared some food earlier and i helped my mom in the kitchen and being me, clumsy and chaotic and truly bad with kitchen thingy, i indeed make few messes. the biggest one was i accidentally poured the Rose syrup all over the floor. wait, that is exaggerating. well. let just say 1/3 of the kitchen floor is covered with the syrup. mum was too tired to be mad. lol. my clumsiness and that chaotic behaviour somehow worries me at times. well, i know i do not literally realize them for most of the time and it is when i do i somehow feel.. kind of frustrated.

It's twooooo days before year 2010 officially ends. part of me, the dramatic bit, somehow considers about making very very good memories before the year ends. but at this very moment, with this kind of 'spirit' i pretty much do not really care. i, earlier, had these never ending plans and things to do before going to bed. i was thinking to have a few try on my ddr pad. i was thinking to clean up the mess i made in the kitchen once i got home. i was thinking to burn some songs to my cd. i was thinking to continue watching series. But I am just darnnnn sleeppppy. o.o

i think i will force myself at least have a few go on the ddr. i'd spend as much time as possible with my beloved laptop. before i'm sending it to the manufacturer to get fixed and repaired. haish. something is wrong with the speaker. it does not function properly. it gives that funny sound and yeah it needs to be fixed. lol. what a dull statement. and they gonna take my lappy away for at least 2 weeks? 2 weekkkss. lama jua tu! i'm sure it is gonna be more than 2 weeks. and hence i have to use my sis's laptop to do any work or assignments. and i cannot watch gossip girl, vampire diaries, glee, etc etc. never mind, i'd get indulged with harry potter i guess. oh yes, i have been rereading harry potter again. actually i was only planning to read the last book but i got irritated when i could not recall most of the spells and info so yeah i started back with the first book! i know i can just google those things but still it would not feel the same. reading and to get into it is more preferable, for me at least :) I'm almost finished with the fifth book. among the seven books, i dislike this one, order of pheonix, Sirius Black got killed which i apparently think could have been avoided if only Harry did not just keep away the magic mirror Sirius gave him with intention of trying to save Sirius's neck from danger. okay, i haven't reached to that part. would i get less mental when i get back to that part again?

Okay, enough with Harry Potter. :) umm, what else. okay, tomorrow i obviously need to go to bandar again and i somehow do not feel like going out tomorrow. ;0 i must go to few necessary places tomorrow. i should not procrastinate doing things. i'm quite an expert in procrastinating and procrastination is truly bad :)

What else? ahh, i miss salsa. see i actually planned to join salsa again in early dec. well, i did not foresee that exam would only end by mid month and then i was away for few days for vacation and i don't think auntie dayang is available atm. i bet she is quite busy with new year thingy. hence i'm glad i got ddr pad to be the substitute. siggh, to bad my laptop gonna be away forrrr such a long time. lol.

mentioning about trip, i don't know. i somehow got some wake up calls? after it? vacation was okay. i wished i had more time and brought more cash during the trip. anyway, that was not what important. when i said calls... well there were few stuffs that made me realize few things. i don't know how to put them in words here. well,  i can think of the words. i just don't feel like mentioning them here. for i'm afraid if i say them out, it'd change the way i think. but yes, i somehow hold on these stuffs to prevent myself from..err, changing my perspective? lol. i'd just say i learn few basic things out of those few environments. :)

things to look forward for next year? umm... Salsa~~~!!! and teaching! i am offered to teach again next year and yesss i am taking that offer. :D with a yes from my mum and him, mzk :) i know next year gonna be a tough semester. what with thesis, more lectures, exams and we are starting our clinical next year, but still, i think teaching would ease me. i just hope the students are as good as the last ones ;) i'm not gonna take as many classes as i did last time, that would be committing suicide. heh. lol. i just want to teach on thursday night and on friday :) i hope they can agree with that condition;) amiin. anyway, clinical. truth be told i am not quite ready... huhu. i seriously need to get used to the sights of blood. before i had my leave, we were doing some assisting work in the clinic and may dear... the sights of profuse bleeding got me nauseous. i enjoyed learning but blood, heh. well, i've made this choice, and i must not look back. i know i love bio and chemical thingy better but let just stick to medical side okay? :)

Alright, i obviously have talked a lot. i better stop. :)


Good night! :)

Just in case i indeed do not post any last update before the year ends, well, i wish you all happy new year. and may 2011 may be a better year for all of us. :)

2010 is quite... i don't know. :)













 

Salam and Hello peeps. I am quite sleepy and i feel like cuddling in my bed. Friday is my cuddling day I suppose. Lol. Anyway, i wanna update my blog that I am at Usu's house with free wifi at the moment. Lolness.

Anyhow, I would like to thank to everyone who greeted me on my birthday. I appreciate and love all the greetings. :) Once again, I thank C3 for the surprised cake, gift and card :) I had a nice time on my birthday. No big celebration on that day but I am truly grateful to spend the night with my beloved man, Mahmud Zuhdi a.k.a Mr K:p Thanks for staying with me till the clock hit 12 :)  And thanks too for the gifts. I love them. simply :) I pray may you have a safe and nice trip in Jakarta :) imy :)

Next, uummm, I get in touch with a friend and I am truly glad that we are somehow cool :) We even plan to meet up someday, most probably after exams and tests thingy? hee. I like that :) admittedly, keeping aside all the arguments and crisis I do miss having certain people in my life :) And this friend is one of these people :) i like it when we talked as if nothing ever came up between us. burying the hatchet feels good. it is indeed a good thing. :)

Tomorrow night I am not going to join my fellow ex school friends after all. my family is going to gather at Usu's house tomorrow. Tehee. I want spend some quality time with my family. :)


Think I am done talking for now. Good day people.

-zy19-

Yuhana is the name. Yuh is what normally people call me. Moody, demanding, sensitive,selfish and unreasonable,those are my not so nice personality at particular times. Hyper, happy, laughters, peace, cheerful, secure, comfort,sincerity and loves are my favourite elements in life. I'm allergic to hypocrisy and I dislike it when I have to be hypocrite. I'm addicted to books, dvds and chocolates. I love purchasing things. Earning and owning money is one factor that puts me in a good mood.*I am not materialistic by the way. lol* I enjoy going out;watching movies and et cetera. :)

Ct Yuhana

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